Chinalbeit

Ah Xi’an – the cradle of Chinese civilization, home of the first emperor, site of the historic Terracotta Warriors, seated at the base of majestic Hua Mountain.  Yeah…I can’t stand it.

For the most part I’ve been pretty lucky in China…well, except for getting deported, requiring 25 stitches in my face thanks to Chinese hospitality, nearly getting my juggular cut by a crazed Chinese female.  OK, actually, I haven’t really been that lucky at all.  I’d still take it over my life back in the States, which though it was quite a bit safer and saner bored me into addictions with online video games and all-night raiding parties.  Never again, I say.  My wonderful trip to the center of Chinese civilization in September of 2008 certainly takes the cake for run bad, however, which is saying something considering its competition.

I wasn’t even supposed to go to Xi’an in the first place.  I had my trip already booked and planned for Guilin / Yangshuo.  I got a dirt cheap flight from Beijing into Guilin: the only problem was that the departure time was 7AM.  No problem, I thought, I can get up early.  I had just bought a brand new phone with alarm function (yeah I’m a little behind the technical curve here, I realize this), so the night before the flight I set it to wake me up at a very early 4:30AM and off I drifted into slumberland.

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Just a quick note.  This is not a new post.  About a year into my stay in China, I ran into some trouble with the law.  I never found out why I was targeted, or what exactly happened to bring this about.  In retrospect, it wasn’t that big of a deal, though it did certainly change the way I viewed the country and the way I behaved and acted toward people here.  I’ve obviously changed quite a bit since this incident happened.  It was pretty interesting to read it again.  I haven’t changed any of the wording of the post, so some of it might seem a bit strange.  Obviously, I decided to stay, and I’m glad for that decision.  I’m certainly much more careful about my visa situation here, and I’ve been able to help out some other people with their problems as well. I was pretty angry when I wrote this, so there is a lot of swearing here.

Anyway, without further ado…How I got Deported from China:

Okay, I suppose that the title sounds a little more exciting than the actual story. But it’s still true. Yes, I was kicked out of China. I must say that this experience has showed me just how much beauracratic hell the millions of immigrants, workers, and exchange students have to go through in my own country everyday. I am comparatively lucky, I suppose. Have you ever heard of a Chinese person overstaying his VISA in America? Of course you haven’t, and I’m sure his family never heard either.
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